THE DR. VISIT
"Don't laugh!" said the patient,Daryl.
"Of course I won't laugh," the doctor said. "I'm a professional. In over twenty years I've never laughed at a patient."
"Okay then," Daryl said, and proceeded to drop his trousers, revealing the tiniest 'whooha' the doctor had ever seen. It couldn't have been bigger than the size of a AAA battery.
Unable to control himself, the doctor started giggling, then fell laughing to the floor. Ten minutes later he was able to struggle to his feet and regain his composure.
"I'm so sorry," said the doctor. "I really am. I don't know what came over
me. On my honour as a doctor and a gentlemen, I promise it won't happen
again. Now what seems to be the problem?"
"It's swollen, Darryl " replied..
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24 HOURS TO LIVE
THE LINE AT THE END...WINNER
Barry returned from a doctor's visit one day and told his wife Carolyn that the doctor said he only had 24 hours to live. Wiping away her tears, he asked her to make love with him. Of course she agreed and they made passionate love.
Six hours later, Barry went to her again, and said, "Honey, now I only have 18 hours left to live. Maybe we could make love again?" Carolyn agreed and again they made love.
Later, Barry was getting into bed when he realized he now had only eight hours of life left. He touched Carolyn's shoulder and said, "Honey? Please? Just one more time before I die." She agreed, then afterward she rolled over and fell asleep.
Barry, however, heard the clock ticking in his head, and he tossed and turned until he was down to only four more hours. He tapped his wife on the shoulder to wake her up.
"Honey, I only have four hours left! Could we...?
" His wife sat up abruptly, turned to him and said, "Listen Barry, I'm not being funny ...but I have to get up in the morning and you don't."
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3 MICE
Three mice in a bar having a mouse to mouse talk, who is the toughest?
1st mouse says " I go up to mouse traps, rip the cheese out and as the bar comes down I benchpress it 30 times and throw it across the room"
2nd mouse says "You puff, I get rat poison, crush it into powder and snort it"
3rd mouse Finishes his beer, gets up and walks to the door..."where are you going?" asked the other 2.."home to fuck the cat!!!"
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A FANCY DRESS PARTY
A man goes to a fancy dress party wearing only a glass jar on his penis. Lady asks "well what are you?", he says "I'm a fireman"..."but you're wearing only a glass jar?" says the woman
"EXACTLY! in an emergency, break glass, pull knob and i'll come as fast as i can" answers the man!
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THE WEDDING NIGHT
The wedding night should be like a good chicken meal:
-a little bit of breast
-a little bit of leg
-and a whole lot of stuffing!